Time is Here

But does it matter?

The clock keeps ticking.

1 second

Is what it takes to understand a thought. A moment in time that wraps around you to help you see the world or yourself. A thought so simple, so beautiful or harmful you’ll struggle to put it down. But it is there and it is seen, just like you are. Surrounded by the time that we have conjured and concurred to be more.

2 minutes

Is the time to sit with a thought as it confuses. Just starting to be something, as it slowly seeps into our skin, into our knowledge as we comprehend what those words mean and what our lives could be, or what is. It doesn't seem long, but it is long enough to start something, start a link, a stream to what is meant to come or meant to leave behind.

3 hours

Is how long we sit there and decide if all these thoughts are needed or toxic. Real or intrusive. As we check the clock and realize that it is late and sleep deserted us long before this moment, that we cannot dig away from now. We must continue to find what is our next move, our next moment in time, curious if these thoughts need to be followed or demolished.

4 days

Later and those thoughts are still hindering our days and our minds. This must be a harmful thought not a good thought, why would it still be running through my mind if it was good, if it was needed… I need to breathe and see what is right in front of me versus these thoughts that run through our minds… but we all have them.. what is coming… what is behind us… behind me…I take the step forward to move away, but the thoughts of time are clinging to my skin, and my breath as I cannot move forward. They are keeping me in place, stuck like tar on a hot day. The sun keeps moving but I am rooted.

5 weeks

And I have finally started to break and see what these thoughts are meant to be, meant to take hold of, not be pushed, not be broken, but to be part of. There is a reason they filter through my mind not to destroy me like I thought but to help, to make me realize what was around me. The thoughts are not toxic, no it is the world around me, it is the world I have been trained to be a part of. Looking at the clock that sits on my wrist, in my phone, on the dash of my car, on my nightstand and on my computer. The world around me functions off of four possible numbers that mean nothing.

6 years

Nothing has changed after those thoughts, because in the end how do you live a life that the world around you functions on. How do you know to live on the edge of a world that needs structure, needs a society that moves together. Any building block can move away but too many make it crumble and fall. The difference of that life does not compute with the world I have tried to look into and see and feel. The nature that is around me is beautiful and meaningful, as time does not matter to a plant, to a bug, to the wild but it matters to our humanity.

Time is nothing but a concept where we have made it matter. That we have made it run and live. We think we are lucky to be living another day, breathing for another moment, but aren’t we also counting our days, counting our moments with the ones we love until there is no more for us. For our lives that end. One day, one moment, one time. It is not forever, but I don’t want to be counting, I don’t want to be living, thinking this could be the last, even if it is the first…